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yes i was molested
yes i was abused
yes i was bullied
yes... it's all true

ive thought about suicide
ive thought about self harm
ive thought about lashing out
ive thought about mutilating my arm

i hate my brother for doing this to me
i hate my mother for what she's done too
i hate God for letting it happen
i hate my emotions for not coming through

my emotions stay bottled
my screams stay behind my lips
my thoughts stay on him
my tears stay under my lids

im not the prettiest girl out there
im not the sweetest female youll find
im not the most popular person
im not the smartest, but i'm also not blind

what did i do to deserve this hate
what did i do to deserve this pain
what did i do to deserve this all
what did i do... please just tell me...
before i go to basic, i wanted to post on facebook the first verse... my grandmother wondered why i would not sleep in the bed that i was molested in, i want to tell her why, i want everyone to see me... that is why the photo is ironic

i own this
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpacmax1978:
pacmax1978 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
*hugs you* Don't give up... Stay strong.
Reply
:icondestinytte:
Destinytte Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student Photographer
:hug:
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
it's not your fault
Reply
:iconraindropsonroses21:
RaindropsOnRoses21 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well written, m'dear, and a good way to channel the emotion of unfortunate events :heart:
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you

and thank you for not saying 'sorry', i've been sick of hearing that
Reply
:iconraindropsonroses21:
RaindropsOnRoses21 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I imagine it would be tiring
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yes, yes it is
Reply
:iconthe-lost-hope:
The-Lost-Hope Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012
Sorry to hear, just keep moving forward.
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
not your fault, but thanks
Reply
:iconthe-lost-hope:
The-Lost-Hope Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012
You're welcome and I know but still it sucks that people do that.
Reply
:iconbaccaratta:
baccaratta Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry to hear that
The poem is good, stay strong
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
it happens
thanks though
Reply
:iconthehylianwarrior:
TheHylianWarrior Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Amazing, Way to put yourself out there. (no sarcasim intented ... ^^;) good poem ^^
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thanx
Reply
:iconxxflyingfreexx:
xxflyingfreexx Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I'm really sorry about what happened to you but just know this: you didn't deserve it, no one deserves that. :( you're a beautiful person and you deserve much better in life.
I hope everything works out for you and wish you ever bit of happiness:heart::huggle:
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
:iconxxflyingfreexx:
xxflyingfreexx Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012  Student Digital Artist
no need :heart:
Reply
:icontheartsydoglover:
theartsydoglover Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012
:huggle: You seemed like someone who needs a hug.
I'm sorry about what happened to you. :( Stay strong.
Reply
:iconuziel-de-winther:
Uziel-De-Winther Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Tough stuff, and your lyrics tell me that you are too. Very well written, and trust me it helps..poetry can do wonders for ones pain. I like the way you have made the first paragraph in each stanza the same :) and different to each other, it makes the poem sail like a boat trough clear waters.

And the answers to your question is often hard stone to swallow..
for me at least I got picked at all my life because I let it happen..and simply becuase I was there and didnt feel strong enough to fight them off.

But again that is me :/.

So fight on and stay strong and please write more :) you have a nice flow :)

Blessed Be

Uziel
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i kind of let the bullying happen too, i jsut did not want more drama...
thanx
by the way, your name is rocking.
is that pronounced like "youzeel"?
Reply
:iconuziel-de-winther:
Uziel-De-Winther Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah one often do..now i just draw my sword and tell the to back of, polite people however Im always nice too :) and thank you :) and no it's more like

Oo-Zee-el but hispanic often pronounce it like you offered :)it is one of the few angelic names ive liked since I was very litle my real name is a normal pet name of another biblical name.. Im trying to disappear from the web a bit, so i wont write it out :P but I can riddle you a bit :)then you can web search it :) my real name means God is my Judge and if your curious? then Uziel is one of heavens commanders of the lesser angels and means God is my strenght.

and de Winther to have a meaning to my own name, Winther being my second first name and the de' is a way of realted to the fact that my last name is a old noble family in germany :)So name I like to much my secong first name and my family's forgotten noble blood adds up to Uziel De Winther :) call it my artistic name :)
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
cool, thanks for sharing!
Reply
:iconuziel-de-winther:
Uziel-De-Winther Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lol yuor welcome :) i tend to babble alot :/
Reply
:iconthe0pumpkin0queen:
The0Pumpkin0Queen Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012
I feel so terrible this happened to you. :hug: I am sorry...
Reply
:iconloverofwolves1314:
loverofwolves1314 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student General Artist
Hey don't beat yourself up... I was raped :I

God has a reason for eveything... you just need to believe in his plan, and trust.
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thanx for sharing... :hug:
Reply
:iconloverofwolves1314:
loverofwolves1314 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Lettin you know you ain't the only one out there
Reply
:iconcryoshell1:
Cryoshell1 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:\
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
...
Reply
:iconcryoshell1:
Cryoshell1 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
...Words can't say how sorry I am :\
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
its not your fault
but thanx
Reply
:iconmaxiemariehawke:
MaxieMarieHawke Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
I'm sorry it happened to you. Don't worry, though. You're not alone :)
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
and that is what makes me even sadder sometimes...
Reply
:iconmaxiemariehawke:
MaxieMarieHawke Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
It is sad, but everyone has a way of coping with it. I've learned that it takes a lot off of you if you tell an adult that you can trust. I was terrified that my mother wouldn't believe me and had nightmares, but I broke down and told her anyways. I've yet to tell my parents about another incident, though.
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
if they beleived you once they will beleive you again
i told my sister, but only to find out my brother molested her too... i wish i didnt tell her
Reply
:iconmaxiemariehawke:
MaxieMarieHawke Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Professional General Artist
Well, my mother taught me to never lie or joke about those things. And I never have. Sadly, because my sister is a known habitual liar, my stepmom played it off like she was a slut when my sister testified against my stepbrother. Sadly, I have no evidence, but I can't tell my mom because she tends to act irrational about things. That's just wrong. I think any molester needs to die....Slow and agonizing..Sorry for the too much info
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i beleive so too
thanks for the watch
Reply
:iconmaxiemariehawke:
MaxieMarieHawke Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Professional General Artist
You're very welcome :D
Reply
:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so sorry this happened to you
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
it happens...
Reply
:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Doesn't make it right
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i know
Reply
:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
Tell me the bastard got caught doing something else illegal if not for that
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
nope...
he was happy with a daughter... then they got a devorce... i hope he is suffering, but i would not know, i have not talked to him in years and i want to keep it that way. he would laugh if heard about me going to the army. he'd be all "wow, they let anyone in now" and id think about quitting...
Reply
:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I wouldn't, I'd stay just to prove to him that I won't let him rule my life.
Reply
:iconhikaru-nara-kheel:
hikaru-nara-kheel Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
for some reason... i just let his words get to me... anyone else, i would try and prove myself, but him... idk...
Reply
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