woundsthey say time heals woundsbut the more time that goes bythe deeper mine get
just kill methe pain is becoming harderwriting is starting to not cut itall i hear is the echoes of peoples laughshistheirsi want deathi want it nowrazor blade?clichépills?may not workrope?too much paingun?...sounds goodgood bye paingood bye lifegood bye memoriesgood bye... just good bye
what he took from me...when i look in the mirrori see mewhat i have turned intoi no longer have that glowthat loving spirithe took it from mei no longer have that beautythat self confidencehe took it from mei no longer have that puritythat cleanlinesshe took it from mei no longer have that smilethat happiness...he took that from me...
mistakewhen i look in the mirrori only see my mistakesi see what he did to mei see what i did to myselfi see how it effects mebut no one else seesno one sees what he didno one sees what i dono one sees how it rips me upwhy can't they seewhy can't they seewhycan'ttheyseethe painthe agonythe miseryi am going throughon a daily basisas i look in the mirrorall i seeis a mistakeone big painful mistakenamed chelsea lynn _____
hear me...im screamingim pleadingim cryingso why cant you hear mehear my silent screamssee my pleading eyesfeel these dry tearswhy cant you sense my painmy heart is brokenbleedingdyingwhy cant you help meyou fail meagainand againwhy do i put up with thisthis piercing agonythis burning achethis stabbing torturewhy does no one help?!
a good long cry...do you ever feellike just crying your eyes outjust a good... long... cryscreaming and wailingor silently sufferingemotions' outlet
broken memories.When you were six and I was nine,I could hear you singing in the showeras you sang a broken chorusthat left everyone around you speechlessbecause as you looked at yourself in the mirror,you saw new tears pouring down your face.As your skin turned sheet white,you remembered that you no longer have a heart.When you were seven and I was ten,we would play on swingsand see who could jump the highestto touch the stars at night, but the truth is thatI would always let you winbecause I love the way that your lips smiledwhenever you screamed into the night.I remember how we used to catch fireflies in jarsand you would always let them go,but the truth was you were escaping your own mind.(I remember how I always told you that I could fix you,but your eyeliner always streamed down your cheeksas you turned to run awaybecause you were too afraid of opening your heart.I haven't seen you since,but the truth is that I still love you.)
The TruthsWhen you look at me, what do you see?Seeing that smile, could you guess what I hold back?Hearing that laugh, could you sense the pain?When we talk, can you tell that I leave so much out?When I say I am fine,do you know what is behind that?Is it just me, or do you miss alot?When you really look at me , Do you really see me?Do you even know that there is so much you don't see?I can tell you what you seeA girl that isn't really there anymoreA hollow shellThat if you were to put under pressureWould be gone in an instantThat is why she has so much protectionsWhy there is alway people around herOF course you don't see what she is holding backYou hardly know that girlOr, at least not the one that the rest of the world doesThe funny thing is, she doesn't want you toShe feels if you see the scars you would walk away toEven though when that laugh sounds you can tell something is offYou will never call her on itYou shouldn't ask questions if you aren't ready for the answers
Truth Be ToldI'm not a perfect angelNor will I ever beBecause there is no such thing as perfectAnd that is a guaranteeWe all have our own opinionsAnd we won't always feel the sameSo don't get mad at me over itBecause I don't play the game of shameI'll say whatever is on my mindNo matter how harsh it may be'Cause if it is the truthThen it should be told for all to seePlease don't order me around like a robotI'm a human being not a slaveI wasn't born to serve youAnd I'd rather live then be put into an early graveWhy must you sit here and lie to my faceWhen you taught me as a child that lying is a sinIn the end it won't get you very farBecause a liar never wins
AverageOnce there was this girlJust your average girlWho went to your average schoolWith your average friendsAnd average boysAnd average school workAnd every day when this average girl came homeShe ran upstairs to her not so average roomTo blast her not so average musicTo which she would write her not so average poetryInstead of doing her average school workAnd then she would wonder about her parentsHer not so average parentsWith their not so average jobsAnd would, every day when they got homeDrink more than the average person shouldAnd every day her not so average fatherWould beat on her not so average motherAnd then he would find this average girlAnd do some not so average things to herAnd this seemingly average girlHad some not so average scarsRunning up and down her average armsBecause she thought it would help easeHer not so average painThe pain she dealt with everydayAnd every day this average girl would fall asleepAnd cry her not so average tearsAnd have her
ThankfulI can admit I've waited,I can admit I've done all I can,I can admit I loved you with all my heart,I can admit I always made sure you were happy...What happened to us?You left in such a rush...What do I do now?Cry and sink to the ground?Not anymore...You left me for a two bit whore...You left and I finally got my closure,it was worth the wait.. the closure...Sometimes I ask my self why I loved you...But I guess at some point me and you were true...It's over now, for good...And I'm thankful for that...
PaperPeople lie andBirds sing,But tree's listen.I tell them my secrets quite often andThey never seem to fail me.Faithful in their silenceThey will hold their promises forever,Will hold your words until they themselves fade to ash.In which case they'll bury the secrets with them.I'm not one to trust a person, or a birdFor they have tongues,That itch for words.I think tree's make better friends,Even if they're not much for conversation.
DespairSmiling is how I make it through the day,Pretending that everything is just okay.I conceal the intense ache that I feel inside,I laugh and joke and push everything aside.No one ever cares to look into my eyes,If they did, they'd see past the disguise.The disguise I place on myself to hide the pain,To hide the darkness that I can't explain.I have pitch black darkness inside of me,This gloom is filled with things I cannot flee.It sucks away the happy feelings I might contain,And leaves behind the hurt and pain.I find myself hating the world and my life,So much so that I pick up the knife.I need to feel something, anything at all,Even if it is something that I used to appall.I bring the knife down until it's on my arm,And begin the downwards spiral of self-harm.The blood begins to flow as the pain ebbs away,My straight path has now been set astray.For a while I feel again, for a while I'm alright,But the feeling vanishes like a candlelight.Once again I reach out for
You KnowIt's okay to cry You know I can'tLet tears fall You know I won'tPretend it's rain You know it's notJust keep sane You know I'm not.
Think no more of meI pale in this ebony sanddigging endlessly to depths that neither seas nor star can findhiding within bowels that excrete a resin of deathly demiseThere is no scorching orb that lights my wayNo shadowed pearl that comforts a need to sleepjust stillness
effacing lifefrom thoughtfrom windfrom needAnd silencea conspicuous absence of colorSo acute that it resounds as the drumpurging the contented songs of pleasure from hellI am pock marked and rottingA dirge that will scream her words to no one listeningI am lost feeding nothing but the blacknessthat has become my skinmy bloodmy charred bonesI am lostI am lost
Annabelle.I've stood in the darkto watch you crawlwhenever a demon sent chills up your spineas you screamed in pure terrorfor a knight in shining armor,but all you ever received was new bruises to your lips that made you look more beautiful.(I remember how I always used to call you beautiful,and you always looked back at me with sad brown eyesonly to say that people with cuts on their armscould never be beautiful because you were too caught up in suicide.)You always told me that you knew you were one to never exist longbecause you felt like you were meant for the afterlife,but whenever I close my eyes I can swearthat I hear your distant soft voice,(but it was just my heart wishing that you were still here.)
ScarsI am scardBoth mentally and physicallyThere are scars all over my bodyThey are deep and speak of times much worse than theseEach one for a broken hear, a shattered friendship, a forgotten promiseThese wounds within my mindThey tear me apartThe bleed and pulse with pain just as much as they day they were wrought upon meThe flower of those i love has now rotted awayOnly the petals remain and the float all around meBut i can not touch themTheir they go, blown away in the subtle breezeHear me screamSee me burnNever shall i allow someone to be as beaten and rejected as meIf you feel pain as i doIf you bleed as i doIf you love as i doIf you have been rejected as i have beenTalk to meI shall helpEven if i must give my lifeI must helpI will help
PerfectionBeing perfect is impossible. But being imperfect, is perfect in itself.
A DreamWas it you that I saw?In my dreams I was still in awe.I thought I was over you.I thought I was done being blue.But lately you have returned in my dreams.You still haunt me, thats how it seems.I still see your perfect smile.I just sit there and stare at it for a while.I can still feel your gentle lips.And the smooth curves of your hips.I hear your melodic voice.I cant turn away, even if I had a choice.I miss you so much.Your hugs, kisses, mostly your touch.But then something happens, I awake.And my heart starts to ache.Then I realize its just a dream.Then my tears start to stream.
HiddenI can't accept itI don't want to fallBut i can't change itBecause it's me.I keep it hiddenI keep it lockedInside a safeA deep, dark vaultIn the farthest depthsof my mind.
ScarsScarsFading, never leavingA constant reminder ofWhat is wrong with meSlowly dimming away,But never partingReminding me of youWithering in timeBut always fixed in my fleshI'll never forgetIngrained for eternityUglyprotrudingForeveralways with meThey are part of meThe will be, evermore,Part of my beingThey've made me who I am nowBuilding character,Through trying experiencesI look upon them,Think of youwhat a mistakeI'm stronger, smarterThat mistake will not be madeAll over againI've moved on from you
my masksometimes my mask breaksmy mask that always smilesthrough the cracks... tears flow